Created using
So Many Emotions Collection and
Getting Started Template Pack for the
August Lyrical Mojo Challenge
Journaling reads:
I’ve spent the past year living with so much guilt surrounding my father’s passing. So many
unanswered questions, so many ‘what if’ ideas running through my head. It’s absolutely
exhausting.
My head wants so bad to believe I had no control over the events of that week; that nothing I did or didn’t do would have changed the outcome.
My heart just hurts so bad from the loss that it can’t let go.
I’m the one who went to see him after he fell and didn’t fight him to go to the hospital. I let him convince me to sit and watch a couple older recorded episodes of a game show instead of heading to the ER.
I’m the one who took his words so personally the night it all went downhill. I knew it wasn’t ‘him’, that something was wrong, that the hospital had to have missed something...but the words just cut so deep, ripping me apart, like so many years of negative thoughts validated.
And I’m the one who couldn’t be in the room with him the last day.
As he was fading, I was hiding in the hallway, and I will never forgive myself for that.