Journaling reads:
The young me in this October 1976 picture in Heidelberg, Germany could not even fathom that 2020 would turn the world on its head and feel so apocalyptic. It sure turned by world upside down - divorce and its many problems, my sweet mother-in-law’s death, the COVID 19 lock down then getting the darned thing after returning to the office, and the saddest Christmas I have ever had. It’s not a year I’d care to repeat!
So, I choose to look forward - to where I want to go and who I want to be. I want to be myself again - to smile more than I frown, laugh often, see beauty in the face of ugliness. I want to trust again but that will be much more difficult. It’s hard to do when trusting someone destroyed all your dreams. But I want to capture those dreams again. No, I won’t retire at 65 and travel the world. That age has come and gone, but I can retire at 68 when Jason graduates from MSU. Then we can leave this place of pain and sadness and find our happy places. I won’t be able to travel as much as I want but travel I will even if it’s in a wheelchair. I want to sew and to decorate my house, so it radiates welcome and hospitality again. I want to garden - both flowers and vegetables. I want to plant my heart where it will flourish once more.
